Soldier4Real
Registered User
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2008
- Messages
- 2,487
What does a woman and carpet have in common? if you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them later.
What do you do when the dish washer is broken? Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work.
Why did the woman cross the road? It doesn't matter, why was she out of the kitchen in the first place?
Why cant women ski? Because there's no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.
What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? The back of my hand.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Why don't women need a watch? There's a clock on the stove.
Why do they call it PMS? Cause mad cow disease was already taken.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
Why don't women need driver's licenses? There's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.
A truck hits a woman, who's at fault? The truck driver, what the hell was the truck doing in the kitchen?
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Why did God invent shopping carts? To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None..let her cook in the dark.
Why is a wedding dress white? So the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge.
What do you call a woman with one black eye? A quick learner.
What do you call a woman with no black eyes? A good cook.
How do you turn a dish washer into a snow blower? You give the bitch a shovel.
What do you do when your wife comes out the kitchen to complain? Shorten the chain .
What do you do when the dish washer is broken? Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work.
Why did the woman cross the road? It doesn't matter, why was she out of the kitchen in the first place?
Why cant women ski? Because there's no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.
What's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? The back of my hand.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Why don't women need a watch? There's a clock on the stove.
Why do they call it PMS? Cause mad cow disease was already taken.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
Why don't women need driver's licenses? There's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.
A truck hits a woman, who's at fault? The truck driver, what the hell was the truck doing in the kitchen?
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
Why did God invent shopping carts? To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None..let her cook in the dark.
Why is a wedding dress white? So the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge.
What do you call a woman with one black eye? A quick learner.
What do you call a woman with no black eyes? A good cook.
How do you turn a dish washer into a snow blower? You give the bitch a shovel.
What do you do when your wife comes out the kitchen to complain? Shorten the chain .
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