Saber123316
Registered User
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2013
- Messages
- 70
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How to be a dick 101.
I was meandering through Cherno when I came upon another player. We were both heavily armed, and decided to bandit together. He and I began gathering gear in the city for our quest. We dropped everything in our inventories except for some ammo for our M4A1's, a pair of handcuffs, and a set of keys. We then loaded up for our nefarious quest. We were walking through a plain in the middle of nowhere when we came upon our unfortunate victim. We stalked him for about 15 minutes until we finally made our play. We jumped out of bushes right in front of the poor little bambi. "ON YOUR KNEES. HANDS ON YOUR HEAD" I shouted. He complied and my friend cuffed him. He quietly asked "What do you want with me?" "Nothing." I replied. "My friend over there carries the keys which will give you freedom. If you leave now, you'll be handcuffed in the middle of nowhere with no one to save you. No food, no water, no gear. All we ask is to complete a task for us." "What is it?" He asked. After he uttered these words, my new found friend and I began unloading our inventories in front of him. When we finished, 63 rotten bananas laid in front of the poor bambi. I walked 10 feet away and laid down my fully decked out M4A1. My partner in crime said "perhaps you are seeing the object of the game. If you succeed in eating the bananas, you get an M4A1. If you fail, you die." Enticed by the prospect of an M4A1, the bambi agreed to our game. I undid his handcuffs. He steps up to the pile of bananas and begins eating. After the fifth banana, his character is feeling nauseous and is lightly dehydrated. The 6th banana brought on the vomiting. By the tenth banana he is rapidly losing water and blood and vomiting profusely. When he hits the 30th he loses consciousness for about 2 minutes. He wakes up and begs us for water. We stare impassively. He begins eating again. 10 bananas later and he loses consciousness again. His blood levels are dangerously low. Again, he begs us for water. Again, we stare impassively. He reaches banana 52 and loses consciousness for a solid 10 minutes. He makes it to 60 before a 15 minute knockout. He wakes up and we're still standing there. He eats the last three and shakily stands. He walks towards his prize. As he steps to the M4A1, he loses conciousness. When he awoke he was handcuffed, the M4A1 was gone, and he was alone. There was only one thing left in his inventory: A rotten banana.
http://www.reddit.com/r/dayz/comments/1vsywx/my_favorite_story_of_being_an_absolute_dick/
How to be a dick 101.
I was meandering through Cherno when I came upon another player. We were both heavily armed, and decided to bandit together. He and I began gathering gear in the city for our quest. We dropped everything in our inventories except for some ammo for our M4A1's, a pair of handcuffs, and a set of keys. We then loaded up for our nefarious quest. We were walking through a plain in the middle of nowhere when we came upon our unfortunate victim. We stalked him for about 15 minutes until we finally made our play. We jumped out of bushes right in front of the poor little bambi. "ON YOUR KNEES. HANDS ON YOUR HEAD" I shouted. He complied and my friend cuffed him. He quietly asked "What do you want with me?" "Nothing." I replied. "My friend over there carries the keys which will give you freedom. If you leave now, you'll be handcuffed in the middle of nowhere with no one to save you. No food, no water, no gear. All we ask is to complete a task for us." "What is it?" He asked. After he uttered these words, my new found friend and I began unloading our inventories in front of him. When we finished, 63 rotten bananas laid in front of the poor bambi. I walked 10 feet away and laid down my fully decked out M4A1. My partner in crime said "perhaps you are seeing the object of the game. If you succeed in eating the bananas, you get an M4A1. If you fail, you die." Enticed by the prospect of an M4A1, the bambi agreed to our game. I undid his handcuffs. He steps up to the pile of bananas and begins eating. After the fifth banana, his character is feeling nauseous and is lightly dehydrated. The 6th banana brought on the vomiting. By the tenth banana he is rapidly losing water and blood and vomiting profusely. When he hits the 30th he loses consciousness for about 2 minutes. He wakes up and begs us for water. We stare impassively. He begins eating again. 10 bananas later and he loses consciousness again. His blood levels are dangerously low. Again, he begs us for water. Again, we stare impassively. He reaches banana 52 and loses consciousness for a solid 10 minutes. He makes it to 60 before a 15 minute knockout. He wakes up and we're still standing there. He eats the last three and shakily stands. He walks towards his prize. As he steps to the M4A1, he loses conciousness. When he awoke he was handcuffed, the M4A1 was gone, and he was alone. There was only one thing left in his inventory: A rotten banana.
http://www.reddit.com/r/dayz/comments/1vsywx/my_favorite_story_of_being_an_absolute_dick/
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